FP #139: Becoming What You Want to Attract – Deanna Frazier with James Rick

After a few bad experiences in business or dating, we figure out pretty quickly the kind of relationships we want to avoid! After a few major failures, you might even be motivated enough to list down everything you’re looking for in the ideal relationship.  But do you take the all-important step of looking at who YOU need to become to attract the ideal?

In today’s episode, we interview Deanna Frazier also known as “The Dating Diva”.  She talks about effortless abundance and attracting what you want by being, rather than wishing, be it in business or in your personal relationships.

Highlights from the interview

BASIC PREMISE: Become What You Want to Attract

IN BUSINESS:

• You’re looking for good clients and customers who pay out on time.

What would you need to do differently to attract that kind of client?

IN DATING:

• You know the qualities of the person you’d like to date.

If that person showed up – would s/he want to date you? What changes do you need to make?

STEPS ON HOW TO BECOME THAT PERSON:

1) Grow into what you determine is desirable in that person.

             -  If you have a list of what you want to get, BECOME someone that would attract that.

2)   Just make up your own rules and live the life that you want.

 -   Take responsibility; the answer will not come from outside of you.

-    Don’t go out there judging and fearful and expecting.

-    Don’t push, drive, manipulate, go after… just be whoever you want and let it flow onto you.

3)      Examine what familiar things cost you – what are you giving up to have what you have?

4)      Take the risk to start something in your life to attract greater opportunities.

5)      Have great coaches, mentors, consultants whose opinions you value.

THE STUMBLING BLOCKS TO BECOMING THAT PERSON:

• Resisting change – you don’t want to get out of your comfort zone

     – It becomes your survival strategy and defense mechanism.

     – You can disarm your defense mechanism with the use of humor.

• Being stuck with your beliefs, assumptions, judgments.

      -  You find safety and comfort in what’s familiar at the cost of your unhappiness

 FINAL THOUGHTS

• Love attraction is what we bring to vs. what we put out.

• Pain is inevitable, suffering is an option.

Deanna has been changing lives for 30 years thru her thought-provoking executive leadership, consulting, and seminars. She coaches corporate executives as well as individuals looking for dates and lasting relationships. You can follow her by going to her website at DeannaFrazier.com or you can email her at dee@deannafrazier.com. You can get her book, Dating 101 – The Second, Third, or Fourth Time Around at TheUniversityofDating.com or at Amazon.com.

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